The issue with beliefs is that they are not true. It is not as if our beliefs are rooted in the laws of physics. I believe that I am handsome, that the world is a dangerous place, that the rich are all evil, that politicians are crooks. We go on and on about what we believe. We reinforce that belief with our experiences. We say things to ourselves "I believe that I am not handsome." Our minds, those amazing goal seeking, reality creating, machines then start to act on that belief. If there is an example of someone thinking that you are handsome, such as a girl comes up too you and say's "hey handsome", your mind makes, in general, two decisions. The first is to distort what she said. "Oh, she really didn't mean it", or "She just wants something". Anything to make TRUE the thought that you are not handsome, to anyone! The other decision your mind can make is to delete the whole encounter. We actually do that a lot. It is a mechanism that we use on a daily basis to handle all the information that is barraging our senses moment by moment. In this case, we just apply that already well honed mechanism to the situation and Voila! There is no girl here that thinks I am handsome. Therefore, in our minds, we have just reinforced the belief, "I am not handsome". Then if we express that belief out loud and someone say's to us, "why that is not true". We say, "yes it is, in my EXPERIENCE no girl thinks that I am handsome. Really, is that true? In your experience? What a tangled mess we get ourselves in to. Actually, it is a circular mess as our mind works to reinforce our belief thereby making it "true".
Another version is to seek happiness through others. They search and search for the perfect soul mate. There are industries devoted to finding your very own soul mate. Although exactly what a constitutes a soul mate is not clear, we continue to try. Once they find someone they may think to themselves, this is it, I will be happy for life. Their search is over and they are peaceful. Until, eventually, the relationship becomes routine or contentious. Or they change, the person changes or the situation changes. Usually the failure is due to the failure of each to be still in there heart. But more on that in a later. The ultimate failure is that either one or both are looking for the next relationship. Their next soul mate. Or, they stop trying....which is sad I think.
The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. - Vidal Sassoon So I was sitting on the couch, not doing much, and I decided I wanted to be rich. So, I concentrated really hard, imagining what I would buy. Then I closed my eyes and thought to myself, "Money flows to you." ...
Apart from the things you have tried to do to become more successful, are all the things that you have yet to use. You can take everything you know and set it apart from some of the things you have yet to try out, giving you more things to experiment with apart from what you already know. It's true that mostly we run on automatic. We do things, feel things, react to things and events in a pretty predictable fashion. Often times, it is our friends and family that see us more clearly than we see ourselves. It as if our minds have a mind of their own!